FORCED FEMININITY – is it all just a scam?

As the New Year’s sales are closing, I grapple with resistance and wonder, ‘Should I buy something more feminine’ as jeans?

When I got a Barbie girl, I didn’t know what to do with it. It seemed so unnatural to me. I played with it because my girlfriend wanted it, but I knew that just playing dressing, and mothering was not enough for me.

I never wore girly colors. Although my mother sometimes tried to put me in a dress, for me, this was just plain stupid. I had two pairs of pants, some hoodies, and sports shoes. And when I was ten and other girls wore hair locks with pins, my long hair was so messy that a hairdresser just cut them off; she could not comb them. I never wore skirts, ruffels, lace, or flowery applications. No glitter was found on my clothes or cheeks.

My mind, my heart, and my soul were full of curiosity about life. I craved information about relationships, living, and experiencing. I was (and still am) hardworking, passionate, and exceptionally curious. My heart did not wonder how to dress, make up, or behave feminine; my heart was in understanding the world as deeply as possible. Why do people fall in love, lie, cheat, forgive, love? How does the Universe work? Is there life after life? Why I was born? And when other friends were eager to find the man, I was reading, investigating, and diving into topics close to my heart. From quantum physics and esoteric ancient texts to psychology. I didn’t spend most of my small earnings on clothes and cosmetics but on books and courses. Nowadays, not a lot has changed; it is still the same. Piles of piles of books, but no fancy pump shoes or sparkling dress.

A few months ago I was talking to a talented, international artist. I told her that I would prefer to have one uniform, as from Star Wars (Beem me up, Scotty), and that this whole craziness about trends and fashion would be transcended. The clothes should be functional. And that I am hardly waiting for an AI suit that I could wear all year long! She looked at me under the brow.

But to my surprise, she said: I feel the same!

Finally, here’s another female that feels the same. I dared to speak so heretical about trends and fashion in front of another woman, and she agreed. My heart was happy!

Gifted women tend to perceive themselves as a-feminine, neutral, and sometimes androgynous; therefore, feminine approach to life feels unnatural and forced to them. Yet, they are trying to fit in a fake society where feminity is far away from being respected and loved.

What helped me to survive and grow and made me happy was not a new dress or shoes or longer lashes but the connection to my soul, the insights of my gifted Self, the world, the Universe, the Life. And meeting others who feel and live the same way.

Fashion is a distraction. The clothes and cosmetics industry are big manufacturers (such as alcohol) that just darken the clarity of our true meaning and purpose of life.

What are your thoughts as a gifted woman regarding clothes? Are you a fashionista or just following what others buy? Do you think that clothes should be simplified? How do you deal with the modern trends?

Katja Ujčič developed the Program for Gifted Women, where she helps gifted women reach their true inner potential without fitting into society’s rules that don’t work for them.

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